Hot Mama
by Scruffy Boots
Summary: A quick interlude between House and Cuddy in Cuddy's office. Some spoilers for Informed Consent and Lines in the Sand.


_Author's note: Just a short blip of something I think House would say to Cuddy, but I doubt that Fox could get away with it on television._ _Slight spoilers for _Informed Consent _and_ Lines in the Sand. _I don't own House, Cuddy or Ali or Google either._

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**Hot Mama**

The stack of file folders threatened to overwhelm her desk at any moment. It seemed like the inbox was ready to declare victory by the end of the day. She couldn't get the files completed quickly enough before five or ten or twenty more were delivered to her by her new assistant… Ralph… no… Kyle? Whatever his name was.

Cuddy plucked another folder from the pile and opened it. Another complaint about House. She perused it quickly and sighed before placing it in the pile that was going to the Legal department to handle. She turned her head to glance at the window and a sharp pain shot up her neck. She moaned ever so softly from the pain as her hand flew to her neck to ease the pain from the stiff and tired muscles. She muttered to herself "See what I get for trying to goof off?"

She sighed heavily and picked up the next folder. It contained yet another complaint about House. She would have probably accepted it with her usual attitude of "necessary evil", but House chose that moment to stand outside of the doors to her office and to the Clinic. She carefully watched him. He wore a self-assured, proud smile. He was talking to someone. He was being… flirtatious?

Cuddy got up from her desk and allowed the file to fall to the floor. She walked over to her door and watched the scene unfold in front of her. House was talking to a very young woman… girl, perhaps? The young woman was dressed in a very short miniskirt and a skimpy tank top. The girl had long blonde hair, legs that went on for miles and she was beaming at House. House said something and they both laughed. The girl teasingly touched his arm.

Cuddy's lips curled into a scowl as she watched the girl drag a brightly manicured fingernail down House's arm. That girl had to be barely legal. House was old enough to be the girl's father. The girl was obviously enthralled with House. The girl had leaned in close to House to tell him something and she teasingly ran her hand down his chest. His cheeks reddened slightly and his smile grew wider, yet a bit strained. He shifted some of his weight off his bad leg. The girl said something else and then blew a kiss at House. House grinned and said something in response. Their laughter seeped in through the doors to her office.

She threw the door open and said "House! Get in here right now!"

House smirked and raised an eyebrow at the young girl as he whispered loud enough for everyone to here "Uh oh, I'm in trouble with the boss lady."

She stood there with her hands oh her hips and glared at House and the girl. The girl winked at House and said "Call me, Greg." The girl gave his hand a quick squeeze before she sashayed away.

Greg watched the girl wiggle her hips as she walked off and emitted a low whistle. "Damn, she's hot, huh Cuddy?"

She merely pointed at her office and he shuffled in. She slammed the door behind him and said "Is that… that girl even legal?"

Greg nonchalantly twirled his cane and said "You mean Ali?"

She bit back the urge to swear at him and instead asked "Is that her name?"

Greg nods. "Yup. And nope. She's not legal, but she certainly thinks I'm hot. She will be legal soon."

She stared at him in disbelief. "You do understand that the Legal team cannot save you from a statutory rape charge, right?"

"Oh Cuddy, I didn't know you cared."

"You have the morals of a pole cat! You're old enough to be her father!"

House glowered at her comparison and then his lips twisted into a pout. "Look, just because you're all full of hormone-y goodness from being preggers doesn't mean you have to be nasty to me."

She slapped the desk with her hand and some of the folders on top of the file folder stack fell to the floor. "I AM NOT PREGNANT!"

House ambled over to her and raked his eyes up and down her body. He smirked at her and said "It's ok Cuddy, you're always gonna be a M.I.L.F. to me." He patted her lovingly on the head like she was a small puppy and then made haste to get out of her office.

As he opened the door, she demanded "And just what is a M.I.L.F.?"

House turned and rolled his eyes and said "Jeez, Cuddy. Just Google it." He retreated down the hallway.

Cuddy sat behind her desk and fired up Firefox on her computer. She typed "Milf" into Google and pressed the search button. Her cheeks turned red as she skimmed the results. In spite of herself, she felt a smile spread across her face. She glanced up at her doorway and saw House standing there and watching her. He knowingly winked at her. She smirked and waved him away.

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_Let me know what you thought! Thanks, Scruffy Boots_


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